However you are restricted a bit with this theme, and you must always keep things clean with the “Categories” app from Cydia. This theme could be customizable if you’re comfortable with SSH’ing into your phone. If you like simplicity and elegance, and don’t mind keeping everything in two folder (like myself), this theme could suit you well!
So I am always registering to win pointless crap. Because let's face it, I am one cheapskate bitch and I love me some free shit. But I never win. Ever. Well, today I got an email telling me that I had won a prize that I had registered for like a month ago.... I thought it was a scam until I went and saw that I had in fact won! I won a brand new Moxi DVR with a lifetime subscription anddd a lifetime subscription to Google Voice Mobile! I am so damn excited!
How funny is this shit? I saw this picture and about peed my pants. Apparently, Heidi and Spencer are on this season of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. They sure are playing it fast and loose with the word celebrity these days. Anyway, these douches have made it through 2 days of filming and have quit that bitch twice already. They are upset over the living conditions they are being "forced" to stay in annnnnd get this, they think that the other celebs that are on the show are very low caliber. Wait, the OTHER celebs are low caliber? Who do they have on there? Who is seriously lower caliber than Heidi and Spencer?! Also, Heidi was heard saying that they could have at least got a real celebrity, like K-Fed on the show. Hahahahahahaha..... I'm just going to leave it at that.
Well, I was watching the MTV Movie Awards, minding my own business and saw Megan Fox and thought 3 things:
Glee is a new show on FOX that I have fallen in love with. A couple of weeks ago I TiVoed this show and let me tell you, I was impressed. I've watched it all the way through twice and have re-screened the performance numbers more times than I can count. It's becoming a little ridiculous. I may have to join some kind of support group. The series, which centers around a outcast-filled high school glee club, completely won me over. But it's the performance scenes that truly keep me coming back. My favorite is a cover of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." I even downloaded that shit to my computer and my iPod. You'll have to tune in this fall to see what I mean, because the pilot episode was pretty damn awesome. Go to Hulu and check it out! And after you do let me know what you think about it. The trailer is below. Doesn't it just fill you with, well, glee?
Just when you thought the world was safe from evil hoes, Marilyn Manson shows his scary ass face again... I haven't ever figured out why in the world he was famous/popular when I was in middle and high school. There were girls in my class that would give their right tit for him. So I remember looking his ass up online to see what the fuss was about, and thinking "are they really talking about this skinny pale ass white fucker?" It was all lost on me, and I like all music to a degree. And I do I have to admit some of his songs are catchy, but this mofo is creepy. I just don't get it. Anymissingribs, here he is on Thursday in NYC being creepy. Apparently, he is working on new music.... Imma need him to work on a new look, I mean he is almost 50 and this shit just isn't working for him anymore. (Not that it ever worked for him) He still looks like Paul Pfeiffer from The Wonder Years.
Multi-platinum band 311 is pleased to announce that their highly anticipated new album, Uplifter, will be released on June 2. Uplifter is the band's first studio record in three years and was produced by the legendary Bob Rock. As the title suggests, the band's new album is an uplifting collection of 311's trademark blend of rock & reggae; elevated by inspired songwriting, dynamic musicianship and big anthemic choruses. A deluxe edition of Uplifter will include a special DVD documentary, "The Road to 311 Day," directed by Wayne Price. The documentary, including interviews, backstage footage and live performances, follows the band and their fans for the week leading up to the 3-11 Day concert event in New Orleans in 2008.
So I am just going to lay it all on the line: I saw ‘Wolverine’ last night and although it isn't an epic revolution, it is fun and should be seen if for no other reason then to get the bad taste of all the other new shitty movies (with the exception of Obsessed) out of your mouth. With that being said, I did enjoy the movie and will probably see it again...
So, clearly I can't quit the Hills. I have tried cold turkey, worn the patch, and even tried the Gossip Girl method. None of these worked, so I gave in and decided to keep watching. And I am so glad that I did!!! It was so eventful and so awesome, I was glued to my tv screen for the full hour!
OK, boys and girls, we've come to agree that farts are funny,farts are great, farts we can appreciate. We already know that farts can save your life, farts are healthy, can be stealthy, and an indicator of an upcoming fecal event, so let's take a look at the different kids of farts we can enjoy, or be appalled by. This list was compiled by an expert fart panel that takes into consideration many different kids of farts exist.I myself am not only a writer but a member of the expert fart panel as well. The fart list is as follows:
1)Taco Bell farts. These farts are as unique as other farts. Taco Bell farts are three to five minute long farts that mysteriously happen about six hours after you eat a Burrito Supreme or two, and a soft taco or two, and are asleep, often awaking the offender about halfway through.
2)Italian Shooting Antipasto farts. These are quick but harmless, but shoot out at great velocity, like greased lightning. We use olive oil in and on everything. When I was a kid, I think my great grandmother might have put olive oil in my milk and in the syrup on my pancakes. These farts feel great with no spray side effects.
3)Spicy flamethrower farts. These farts are from Taco Shops that we have all over the the place. The food is great but a couple of good chili rellenos will burn going in your mouth and burn coming out. We highly recommend never to attempt these farts around young children or flammable things like foliage. It is always best to safely sit on an approved toilet with functional plumbing and running water.
4)Diarrhea farts. Never ever ever attempt a diarrhea fart anywhere other than on a safety rated working toilet. The blast often is expelled at high velocity in all directions, and the farter has no aim control with these. These are noticeable ahead of time and often accompanied with stomach pain.
5)Zip Code farts. Zip code farts are generally considered funny by small children and men of any age group, and are common at Football games, Poker night and buddies drinking beer by the lake eating pizza. This is without a doubt the best and most appreciated fart of them all. It is called a zip code fart because you can often hear them in the next town. Feel free to use full unmitigated force when bellowing out these rumbling beasts, as high carbohydrates remove any side effects of moisture or spray pattern damage.
6)Ear Popping farts. These are similar to Zip Code farts. Relatively low danger of bad side effects. This is when you haven't eaten all day or maybe a day and a half and feel a rumble mumble crumble feeling in your belly. This curses through your entire body, and you can even wait for it, because it will emit when it is ready, crackling through the body and making your ears pop when released.
7)Mommy farts. Mommy farts are hilarious. As I am a member of the fart panel, I can have some imput,and this is my contribution to the list. When young, my brother and I slept downstairs and mom was right next door. About once every night, she would go to the bathroom, As you know, all kids think farts or seeing their annoying little friend crash her bicycle are the funniest thing in the world. Mom would let these butt cheek rattling farts that echoed down the stairs through the whole house, making them sound even funnier, and they lasted a good 45 seconds to a minute in length. We laughed so hard we'd get into trouble but it was unavoidable for us little kids. We think she did it on purpose because she knew we loved it.
No disrespect meant to any mom's out there, moms fart like everybody else.
8)Vic's Sewer farts.A lifelong friend of mine and a few others on the fart panel discovered this strange phenomenon in tenth grade. Vic could fart at will anytime and everywhere in any situation. On a school bus, in a car, at the movies, in class, in the library, at lunch, it was terrible. He was so skilled at this, that they never made a sound. It was the most God awful foul smell you could ever imagine. Fifty times worse than an outhouse at a campsite. It was horrendous, and we knew by his smile he was ready to share. The smell was unbearable but we were a little prepared, every one left the room or library EVERY SINGLE TIME with us to follow. It was hilarious but unfathomable at the same time. The movie scenario was the worst, but the funniest. People would start gagging and run out of the theatre, while we moved away but laughed our heads off.
9)Accidental farts. These are bad, embarrassing and never good, and can cost you jobs, girlfriends, customers, friendships. This is when you know the fart is coming, are trying to hold it in, but can't get to a proper farting facility in time. You may be at work, on a date, in a store, you bend over to pick up the ravioli and capoosh, oh shit!! It came out. Your face is red, your blood pressure is rising, but you suddenly feel much better, say, ”Oops, well excuse the heck out of me, I'm sorry about that.” After this of course, two kids a few feet away can't stop laughing, one of them pushes out a fart too, then the other, and they run around the corner giggling, and the guy stocking the shelves can't stop chuckling either.
10)The Gooey Wet Dripping Running farts. This is the granddaddy of all farts,and a social killer because it always happens at the mall or another inconvenient public place. This is always committed by eleven to thirteen year olds. After spending the night at a friend's house, raiding the refrigerator, eating tons of microwave burritos and watching movies, the kids go to the mall the next morning. It is summer and they are wearing shorts.
One of them farts; the other tries to repeat the flatulent effect in response (You must be male to understand this) but only manages to shit on himself and it runs down his leg. The first kid runs away from him, poopy legs doesn't know what to do, so he runs after him, spraying brown juice everywhere in the mall.
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