I love animals and all.....

....but this thing scares the shit out of me! This is an expertly Photoshopped picture of some kind of animal creature named Max. According to The Sun, Max is Britain's perfect pet! Max is also a perfect nightmare!

So, Scientists pushed aside less important projects like "finding a cure for cancer" and "finding out what exactly made Britney Spears lose her fucking marbles" to study what makes the perfect pet. They took to the streets and asked 2,000 people what kind of traits they look for when choosing an animal friend. Based on those results, they came up with this!

Max has the ears of a rabbit, the face of a cat, the body of a golden retriever and the tail of a horse. Max sleeps for 9 hours a day and he loves taking walks. And he will probably suck the life out of your soul when you sleep.

You know, they should've asked my ass what traits I look for in a perfect pet. The perfect pet to me is one who doesn't piss on my shoes, who doesn't bark when I have a hangover and who will go out and get a job so it can support my ass. Can Max do all that? If so, send me two of him and I'll find a way to deal with his creepy looks.