I've had an iPhone for a while. Unfortunately, I used to have a Blackberry, because they were the best thing there was at the time. They are terrible. If you own a Blackberry and think you've got a "real" phone, stop kidding yourself. Its a scam. If you are professionally able, switch to a different phone. Of course, my experiences come from dealing with AT&T, a company that has dropped about 15 notches in my opinion scale as each new dropped call, bill discrepency, or lie they tell.

1. With a iPhone $30 a month covers unlimited internet and texting. They want $30 a month for "unlimited internet" for a blackberry. This doesn't include SMS. Unlimited SMS costs another $15... So thats $20 or $45 a MONTH for the SAME THING. Not to mention the internet on the blackberry is HORRIBLE!
2. Apparently putting any kind of storage on the phone is a crime at Blackberry, you pay an arm and a leg for the phone and then you have to buy a memory card? SUCKY.
3. The keyboard is too small and the keyboards keep getting smaller in newer phones. I had the pearl, and the keypad was annoying and it was not user friendly.
4. There is no way to control the volume and profiles on the phone with it locked.
5. My phone in high school, like almost 10 years ago, had a better UI than the blackberry's UI.
6. They are just now adding DIGITAL cameras. Its 2009.
7. Trying to download software over GPRS and having to restart every time you don't make it through the 30 minute process without a hiccup. Honestly, I haven't had to deal with something this stupid since Z-Modem was released.
8. They are charging your company a bunch of money to run this system that allows you to access your email from your cellphone. Its called IMAP over SSL, and its MUCH MUCH cheaper than a Blackberry Enterprise Server. In fact, ITS FREE.
9. Figuring out the phones features is a little annoying, to say the least.
10. att.blackberry.net... Worst email domain ever.
11. All your contacts have to be saved to your phone or SIM, so whats the point of the memory card? And if you want to put them on your SIM, you can only have 1 number per contact. LAME.

The bottom line is the iPhone puts the Blackberry to shame. And not just the iPhone, the HTC Pro is even better than the Blackberry.

So, over the past few months I have been on a massive amount of dates. Let me be the first to tell you, dating sucks fat ass. I don't care if you are a guy or a girl, save yourself the trouble and just become celibate!!! First of all, you go out with some trainwreck, hoping for the best, and then you find yourself not listening to the retard you are on a date with.... because you are looking for escape routes and maybe even a murder weapon. If you think I am exaggerating, think again. Seriously, the best date I have been on was in November, and that didn't turn out to go anywhere.

The one thing I hate, is people that set you up with losers you KNOW that they wouldn't ever date! I mean, I might be single, but I am not desperate! On top of that, when you tell them it didn't work out, they seem mad! I'm like fuck you assmonkey, you're not the one that had to sit through a million boring ass stories, or get spit on the whole date (yes that happened). So back the fuck off. I really hate being set up in the first place, but sometimes I am bored and I go against my better judgment and go anyway. So, as my friend, if you think you want to set me up, please don't. Because more than likely, I will go, not like them, and you will get mad at me.

I just want to find love... not just any love... for real love. Not the kind of love that you have that's just passionate and not for the long haul; but the kind that you know will change your lives. I want to settle down with someone that I am proud to be with, not afraid to introduce to people. I want someone to go over to my parents house for dinner with, or to their parents house... not because we are made to do it, but because we enjoy it. I want someone to be able to sit at home with and just hang out and do nothing, and still have a good time. I mean, I like being active (bowling, doing stuff outside, going on trips) But, I don't need to go out to fancy places every weekend, I had rather just spend time with them. I have only had that one time, and I let them slip away. The next time, I won't let that happen.

I guess, I am done looking for it. I wanted it so badly that I have gotten bitter trying to find it. So now I am going to let it come to me. I will put myself out there, but I'm not going to expect miracles. And if it comes my way, I'm going to hold on to it, and never let that shit go!

So I was watching Nip/Tuck tonight, and I finally decided that it isn't going to get to be as good as it was back in seasons 1 and 2, but it was still worth watching for the shock factor alone. But then, they started going over the top with EVERYTHING... and I realize that it is the season finale, but come on. Christian is considering having himself frozen? I laughed out loud, and then flipped the channel to something less horrible. Sorry to say it, but I think its time for them to throw in the towel and quit this bitch immediately.

Also, Matt always looked like Michael Jackson's busted condom gutter baby... but he is looking less and less human as each season passes by. I'ma need him to get a tan asap and to do something about his thick ass eyebrows. its distracting as fuck and a little uncalled for. However, Kimber still looks EXACTLY the same! That bitch has to be sipping from the fountain of youth or something.

Anyshit, I'm taking my ass to bed after seeing this caca and hopefully dreaming about unicorns and not having nightmares about Matt's eyebrows eating my soul.

Keri Hilson's debut album In a Perfect World... is set to release on March 24th and this is a new single off of it. Knock You Down is an uptempo track with Kanye West and Ne-Yo and I really liked it on first listen, which is rare. I still like Turnin' Me On, which is her current single... so this is a good thing. I mean, out of the 15 or so leaked tracks I have heard, I like at least 5 of them... We'll see how she does against Ciara, Christina Milian, and Rihanna who all also have albums coming out this year. But, anyway... check this out and let me know what you think!

Download

Wow, every time I think about McDonald's I just feel fat. But lately I have been craving chicken mcnuggets like nobody's business. I mean, they are deep fried bits of heaven! So the other day, I was having a FML moment and was going to my local Sanford McDonald's and I see the 50 piece McNugget party pack, and I think to myself.... I wonder how many McNuggets I can eat without feeling like I need to have my stomach pumped or have a shit fest of epic proportions. So being the risk taker that I am, I got the 50piece with every kind of sauce they offer. That shit is only like $11.

Anycloggedarteries, I got home and started eating like it was my destiny and I ate 32 McNuggets and I felt like my stomach was about to quit this bitch and leave town. So, I gave up. But not even 20 minutes later I was so hungry, so I warmed them bitches up and ate the last 18. My ass didn't eat anything else all day, and until like 4 o'clock the next day! I do not recommend eating an entire 50 piece Mcnugget by yourself, but I do recommend the sweet and sour sauce. Its the shit! I would eat it on just about anything, maybe even pancakes. Ok, maybe not, but you get what I am saying.

UPDATE: I read this a few minutes ago and it seems to me she had a very large emergency!

Anyone, and I mean ANYONE that knows me good enough to pick me out of a lineup after a night of binge drinking at The Flame will tell you how much my heart loves Spongebob. Well, I was getting ready for bed and I was just randomly looking online at music and found this gem. It is the Spongebob greatest hits album!!! I will be rocking this shit on my iPod, in my car, wherever I fucking can! ENJOY!

Download

Sticks and stones may break her bones, but words... yeah, words will break her bones too.












Thats the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

So, at least 5 friends have asked me if I watched the bachelor tonight. FUCKING NO!!! I couldn't pick his ass out of a lineup! I try not to get into those kinds of reality shows, I mean why in the world should we care that some bitch is desperate enough to go on TV and let everyone know that she can't find a man and needs some fame hungry piece of shit to fall in love with her? I couldn't care less about the stupid ass bachelor. I didn't even feel like finding a picture to post with this. That's how much I care. If I am going to watch some "dating" reality show, I like to keep it classy, like Flavor of Love or For the Love of Ray-J. Because I am high class like that.

So, Kanki has buy one get one free sushi all day on Mondays and Wednesdays and until 6:30 every other day of the week. This makes my little heart so happy that it really does the cabbage patch everytime I think about it. I went today with my boos and it was soooo good, and we tried 2 new rolls and they were amazing. I know in a previous post I said something about Chinatown Buffet having good sushi, but I was sadly mistaken. That sushi tastes like warmed over caca compared to the sushi I had tonight. The volcano roll is my absolute favorite.

I don't know when this special offer will be over, but I am going to cry teryaki sauce tears when that day comes.

Also, we saw lispy waitress as we were leaving and that just made the night so much better. I mean, I almost wanted to go back in and eat more sushi just so we could have this bitch as our waitress again. She gave me balloons and ice cream for my birthday, so I can't be too hard on her. But this bitch has the worst lisp I have ever heard and Cassie kept asking about schhhteeemed vegetables and it was hilarious. Good times.

Please click on that shit so you can get the full effect. The bitch pictured above is Kanye West's girlfriend, Amber Rose. She can't be serious with that outfit, I mean I'm more offended by this than the Poopy Time Fun Shapes toy I posted about a couple of days ago. I'm sure Kanye yelled at her until she was deaf about wearing this shit. And she very well may be partially blind, because that's the only thing I can think of to explain this outfit. I didn't know Osh Kosh B'Gosh also had a line of day-shift prostitute clothes. The baby hooker look is not hot for anyone, but especially not for Amber Rose. This bitch fails at life for sure.

I'm gonna tell you what. My ass is 26 years old, and I know for a FACT that if I had beat my girlfriend less than a month ago, I would not be out frolicking around on a jet ski grinning and shit. Who the fuck does Chris Brown think he is?!

But seriously, whoever is Chris Brown's crisis management whore is doing a fail ass job. Here he is in Miami having just the time of his damn life, skipping around and being all merry-like. It's almost like he's saying to us, "I just beat a bitch down and now I'm going to Disneyland."

While Chris was outside beating waves down with his jetski, RiRi was inside the house reportedly trying to get her shit together. Hopefully, bitch was chanting some "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" shit. If it worked for Tina Turner, it might work for RiRi.

I'm always joking around that some people (no names to be mentioned) can shit stars, rainbows and hearts. Well, now they really fucking can thanks to Poopy Time Fun Shapes! All they have to do is stick a plastic tube up their ass, squeeze them cheeks and out comes the fun!

If spewing out hearts and stars during caca times isn't your thing, you can also try The Turd Twister. They have over ten shapes to choose from! Everything from a moon turd to a Christmas tree turd. Seriously, it's not the holiday season until you've shat out a Christmas tree! The fun in your end never ends!

Read this as well!

When anyone mentions the NCAA tournament, I immediately get this grin on my face. Its because I am a diehard TARHEEL fan! This tournament belongs to the Heels this year, and I think they are going to be taking it all. I can't wait to see them cutting down the nets in Detroit this year... and they can defintely do it if they aren't plauged with injuries and stay healthy.

So, one of my favorite shows right now is The United States of Tara... it has everything you could want in a show! Tara, played by Toni Collette, is a woman with multiple personalities caused by a traumatic experience she had a camp as a teenager. She has a total of 3 "alter" personalities; T, Buck, and Alice. T is so air-humpingly hypersexual that you suspect you're witnessing a manic episode every time she's out in the world, Buck believes that he left his manhood on the battlefield in Vietnam. (This prompts the question of what this hick thinks he's doing to himself when enjoying his porn collection, but if we ask for more than a modicum of reality from this fiction, it will crumble.), Alice is an old-school homemaker, dressing like Betty Draper, baking like Betty Crocker, behaving like she's never heard of Betty Friedan, which she apparently hasn't.
There may be other "alter" personalities in the works as shown in recent episodes, but we'll see how that pans out...

So, anyone who knows me will tell you that I don't cry. Ever. But tonight's episode of Ugly Betty made me cry like a 13 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert... I honestly thought I was going to lose it when Molly told Daniel that she had cancer and was leaving him. And then he reacted the way he did, and it was just a big mess. I am so glad that no one was here to witness what could very easily be the gayest moment of my life. I sometimes expect to get a little choked up during Grey's Anatomy but during Ugly Betty?! I think I am experiencing some sort of chemical imbalance or something. Ok, now I have to watch Grey's and will probably cry into my pillow all night about something stupid on there too. I'll be turning my balls in tomorrow, first thing, for a vagina.

Update: Grey's was a rerun, so I'm in the clear.

I am just getting excited about X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Watch the trailer here. Who wants to go see it with me?

I don't know why I still watch The Hills, and every season I say that I am going to stop, but I always get hooked. But, I have heard that this will be the last season of it. So now I think its ok to watch it because I know that this is the last time I have to lie to my friends about why I can't talk to them or go out on a Monday night. Wait, I think I just blew my cover.

I still can't believe all of you reality tv fans have not caught on to RuPaul's Drag Race! It's a reality show that is kinda like a cross between America's Next Top Model and Project Runway.... but with drag queens. OMG! It is SO entertaining!! At the elimination round each week, the bottom two have to "lip sync for your life" and then RuPaul decides who goes and who stays. If you hear "Chante you stay" you're in. But if you hear "Sashay Away" you're out. OMG it's just too funny!!!! Oh... just noticed if you go to the link I posted, you can watch full episodes at your leisure.

I laughed so hard i cried at one of the episodes (the third one... during the lip sync elimination). I even busted out laughing just thinking about it while i was jogging this morning. Make time in your busy life to watch some of, if not all of, these episodes! They will really make your life.

Meet the lovely Jean Mansel from Oakfield Township, Michigan. Jean received what has to be one of the most hilarious ransom notes in history. It seems that a few of Jean's neighbors are pissed off, because they believe she's not picking up her dog's shit. They have kidnapped her statue of Jesus which was in her front yard and are holding it ransom. She received a phone call from a raspy voice. The voice told her to check her mailbox. She did and found this note:

“We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”

I really hope Jean plans to put that shit on eBay, because I will bid on it, frame it and put it over my toilet. That note has so many things going for it: poopies, wieners and Jesus!

Jean claims she picks up her dog's shit and just wants her Jesus statue back. It's a family heirloom. She said, "It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that. And referring to weiner poopie…my gosh."

In the name of wiener poopie! Give Jean her Jesus back!

What the fuck does Octomom have that makes her so interesting? What I ask?! I could care less about this dumb slut and her trials and tribulations of being a mom of like 14. She already had 6 fucking kids, then decides (while living with her mom and being jobless) to go have 8 embryos fertilized and see what would happen if she put them in her uterus. Then she acts like somebody owes her something?! She is owed something; a pimp slap right to the fucking face. I really hate people that do something really really stupid and then take their story around America, and we all eat it up. Enough already!!!

Anyslut, that's not even the point of this. My point is after all this shit with her 14 kids, this bitch is worried that the hosiptal won't let her take her 8 newborns home. No shit! They know that if they release those kids to her, that they will be shut down for giving 8 kids to a lunatic that looks like Angelina Jolie's ass lint!

Ok, so then I was over all that, and thought that maybe this bitch would disappear from the news and shit for good. And now the ho pulls this fuckery?! Bitch actually has the audacity to consider an offer to do porn!!! They offered her 2 million dollars!!! I thought we were in a recession?! I swear to the baby Jesus, who in the world want's to see this bitch, with her stretched out belly and disgusting ass face do porn? That is not hot, at all.

Her delusional ass said she has to consider it, because she needs the money because her stupid ass mom is about to lose her house. Well bitch, if you have 14 kids maybe you shouldn't be living with mommy anymore! Maybe you should consider sewing your shit up and finding a real job. Then she went on to say, she had the embryos implanted because she had so much love to give. You mean to tell me that your 6 fucking kids couldn't handle all of your love so your ass had to have 8 more?! Yeah, I don't get this shit either. Did this fucktard not get any lollipops or hugs as a child? This shit is not cute.

I'm going to get a first class ticket to delusionalville and slap this twat in the mouth. Enough is enough!

I saw this on Flight of the Conchords today and I had to share it. If you don't already watch this show, you are an idiot. Just kidding. But you really should watch it. Ashley got me hooked on one of my many many trips to Charlotte. I had been keeping up with it online and now I get it on my tv thanks to my new TiVo (see previous post).

Ok ok ok.... so I know I am always talking about how great my TiVo is. I mean, next to the microwave, I don't think I could live without it. I mean, I would give up the iPhone in a rash decision to save my TiVo. Well, recently I acquired the new Series 3 HDXL TiVo. It makes my little cold black heart grow like 20 sizes and skip beats. This thing, in all reality, is the only box you need. I mean, you just put a cable card in it, and you are done. So now I have digital cable, HD channels, and my basic cable coming through my TiVo box. And I know a lot of people will say, "well my cable or satellite box does that"... and then I kick them in the teeth and laugh at them.

The TiVo series 3 HDXL records 3 shows at once, has amazon unbox on it, which you can buy any movie and save it on your TiVo, it has YouTube, which you can download and watch any video on YouTube, not to mention you can upload and download songs and movies from your computer, and from your TiVo onto your computer/iPod, you can also order a Domino's Pizza directly from it, buy movie tickets, download music videos, and check traffic and weather conditions instantly.

It's this kind of innovation and compelling features that will keep me paying for TiVo. To me TiVo is much more than a simple DVR, which is all you really get from your piece of shit box from the cable company.

So, I love Taco Bell. Anyone that knows me, will vouch that I do indeed love Taco Bell. Not only do they have the best food on the planet, but they are always coming up with ways to make the food even better. Normally when I get Taco Bell, I order:

• Baja Chicken Chalupa
• Beef Gordita Supreme
• Nachos Bell Grande Meal
  
• Big Taste Taco
• Cinnamon Twists

But here lately, I have been switching it up when I run for the border... and let me tell you, it has been the best decision making skills I have shown in months. I love the new Platters (above) but even more than that, I love the value menu, shown below.

I also love that when you visit their website that they give you a Taco Bell street name. No, I'm not joking. Mine was D-Lux C. Taste. (Below)

I was also amused by the rapping coins... (below) that let you know just how cheap the value menu is, andddd they let you upload pictures of you and your friends, so that you are the ones in the coin heads. The rap is extremely catchy and hilarious. It's phat yo.

Each month I make a playlist of the songs I listen to the most.
Here is my list for this month.

Download it Here