How funny is this shit? I saw this picture and about peed my pants. Apparently, Heidi and Spencer are on this season of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. They sure are playing it fast and loose with the word celebrity these days. Anyway, these douches have made it through 2 days of filming and have quit that bitch twice already. They are upset over the living conditions they are being "forced" to stay in annnnnd get this, they think that the other celebs that are on the show are very low caliber. Wait, the OTHER celebs are low caliber? Who do they have on there? Who is seriously lower caliber than Heidi and Spencer?! Also, Heidi was heard saying that they could have at least got a real celebrity, like K-Fed on the show. Hahahahahahaha..... I'm just going to leave it at that.

So the Hills finale was a little anti-climatic since we all know that Heidi and Spencer were getting married, that Lauren was gonna show up, and that Kristen Cavalirri (I don't think I spelled that right but who gives a shit) was going to be the new leading lady of the show. But it was still full of drama and excitement and I am glad that Lauren got out when she did because the show is getting to be a little Sanfordesque. Everybody sleeping with each other... the ridiculous drama.... the skanks.... wait a minute.... are we sure these hoes aren't from Sanford? Because I think I know some of them.

Anyvaltrex, next season starts this fall and I will not be tuning in. Just kidding. I will be tuning in, and watching every moment. I can't stop. I have been trying for years. I have just decided to be ok with it. Don't judge my ass, because we all know that all TV these days is trashy and horrible. Buuuuutttt, don't think that just because I watch the Hills that I'm not classy. Because I also watch Keeping up with the Kardashians and that is the classiest show on television, hands down.

Glee is a new show on FOX that I have fallen in love with. A couple of weeks ago I TiVoed this show and let me tell you, I was impressed. I've watched it all the way through twice and have re-screened the performance numbers more times than I can count. It's becoming a little ridiculous. I may have to join some kind of support group. The series, which centers around a outcast-filled high school glee club, completely won me over. But it's the performance scenes that truly keep me coming back. My favorite is a cover of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." I even downloaded that shit to my computer and my iPod. You'll have to tune in this fall to see what I mean, because the pilot episode was pretty damn awesome. Go to Hulu and check it out! And after you do let me know what you think about it. The trailer is below. Doesn't it just fill you with, well, glee?

So, clearly I can't quit the Hills. I have tried cold turkey, worn the patch, and even tried the Gossip Girl method. None of these worked, so I gave in and decided to keep watching. And I am so glad that I did!!! It was so eventful and so awesome, I was glued to my tv screen for the full hour!

However, I hate Spencer with all of my little soul and I wish that he would just get hit by a blimp, but no here he is on this show, spreading his douchery. Not to mention, I am one of the people that actually likes Heidi and thinks she is a good person, and I hope that she gets away from this piece of shit and realizes that he is just using her! But, seriously I can't believe he got into a fight and didn't get punched 1 time. That to me shows that this show is extra fake. Because he would have gotten punched or kicked or bitchslapped at least one time!

Anyfleshcoloredbeard, I did think it was very wrong of Heidi to go to Lauren's birthday party... It was awkward and stupid especially since she wasn't invited and is still with Spencer, which Lauren has made very clear she was not down with. Its all Stephanie's fault for being a busy body trying to get everyone to get along. But Lauren sure did let her know how she felt about that!

Anyway, I am def tuning in next week to see it, and my TiVo has a season pass so I will be here all season glued to it... someone save me!

So, at least 5 friends have asked me if I watched the bachelor tonight. FUCKING NO!!! I couldn't pick his ass out of a lineup! I try not to get into those kinds of reality shows, I mean why in the world should we care that some bitch is desperate enough to go on TV and let everyone know that she can't find a man and needs some fame hungry piece of shit to fall in love with her? I couldn't care less about the stupid ass bachelor. I didn't even feel like finding a picture to post with this. That's how much I care. If I am going to watch some "dating" reality show, I like to keep it classy, like Flavor of Love or For the Love of Ray-J. Because I am high class like that.

I don't know why I still watch The Hills, and every season I say that I am going to stop, but I always get hooked. But, I have heard that this will be the last season of it. So now I think its ok to watch it because I know that this is the last time I have to lie to my friends about why I can't talk to them or go out on a Monday night. Wait, I think I just blew my cover.

I still can't believe all of you reality tv fans have not caught on to RuPaul's Drag Race! It's a reality show that is kinda like a cross between America's Next Top Model and Project Runway.... but with drag queens. OMG! It is SO entertaining!! At the elimination round each week, the bottom two have to "lip sync for your life" and then RuPaul decides who goes and who stays. If you hear "Chante you stay" you're in. But if you hear "Sashay Away" you're out. OMG it's just too funny!!!! Oh... just noticed if you go to the link I posted, you can watch full episodes at your leisure.

I laughed so hard i cried at one of the episodes (the third one... during the lip sync elimination). I even busted out laughing just thinking about it while i was jogging this morning. Make time in your busy life to watch some of, if not all of, these episodes! They will really make your life.

I saw this on Flight of the Conchords today and I had to share it. If you don't already watch this show, you are an idiot. Just kidding. But you really should watch it. Ashley got me hooked on one of my many many trips to Charlotte. I had been keeping up with it online and now I get it on my tv thanks to my new TiVo (see previous post).

Ok ok ok.... so I know I am always talking about how great my TiVo is. I mean, next to the microwave, I don't think I could live without it. I mean, I would give up the iPhone in a rash decision to save my TiVo. Well, recently I acquired the new Series 3 HDXL TiVo. It makes my little cold black heart grow like 20 sizes and skip beats. This thing, in all reality, is the only box you need. I mean, you just put a cable card in it, and you are done. So now I have digital cable, HD channels, and my basic cable coming through my TiVo box. And I know a lot of people will say, "well my cable or satellite box does that"... and then I kick them in the teeth and laugh at them.

The TiVo series 3 HDXL records 3 shows at once, has amazon unbox on it, which you can buy any movie and save it on your TiVo, it has YouTube, which you can download and watch any video on YouTube, not to mention you can upload and download songs and movies from your computer, and from your TiVo onto your computer/iPod, you can also order a Domino's Pizza directly from it, buy movie tickets, download music videos, and check traffic and weather conditions instantly.

It's this kind of innovation and compelling features that will keep me paying for TiVo. To me TiVo is much more than a simple DVR, which is all you really get from your piece of shit box from the cable company.

I have finally realized why the judging room on RuPaul's Drag Race looks so frosty! It's because they beam them all up into heaven to shoot this part of the show. It seriously looks like a dream taking place on heaven's clouds. And it pretty much is. My absolute favorite part of the entire show is the catwalk showdown. If I could curl up next to that segment forever, I would be happy.

Jenny Shimizu, the trollop who is most famous for slurping up St. Angie's holy juices, was one of the guest judges and she too fell in love with my favorite Bebe Zahara Benet. Bebe makes me want to rob a Zales at gunpoint so I can drape her in fine jewels. If you ever had to run from the police, you'd want that bitch right along side you. Hopefully, in that outfit.

And I'd really wish Shannel would cover up that ass already! Bitch, we get it! You've got an ass that makes the Kardashians fart bubbly tears of jealousy. Now cover it up, put on a pantsuit and go sell some Huggable Hangers on HSN. Seriously, Shannel belongs on HSN. I see two words in her near future: FLEX PAY.

After the catwalk showdown, Ru announced the winner of the challenge. The challenge was to make a MAC Viva Glam commercial. In case you don't know, the proceeds of all Viva Glam products go into an HIV/AIDS fund. Ongina ended up winning the challenge for her "Celebrate Life" campaign. Ongina broke down and started crying. Just when I was about to shout, "Bitch, get it together," she revealed that she's been living with HIV for the past two years. She didn't want to say anything, because her family doesn't even know. Ongina went to say, "You have to celebrate life."(Clip Below)

I feel like the gayest person on the planet for watching this show! But I couldn't care less because I can't stop watching this shit.